Celia Gadfly (1893-1977), Maria Crocus (1893-1969) and Lucy Anne Tuesday (1893-1983) Hyphen-Hyphen. Being identical triplets, the sisters were the talk of both polite and impolite society. They undertook the Grand Tour twice and, being short of funds, the £500 tour once. Following Maria’s death, her diary revealed that she was in fact Celia, and that…

Ludgate Fortnum Hyphen-Hyphen (1866-1948). Cursed from childhood by the constant attention of corvids, he spent much of his life in an under stairs cupboard and rarely ventured outside. Despite the attentions of several Harley Street specialists, no cure was forthcoming. His autobiography, “My Life in a Cage” remains unpublished.

Cecil Cranberry Morbid Hyphen-Hyphen (158?-1669). An acolyte of John Dee and a student of alchemy, he spent over 50 years trying to turn gold into fruit cake. Although this was a complete failure, he did develop a keen interest in the manufacture of false teeth and eventually set up a business for their production.

Basingstoke Theodolite Hyphen-Hyphen (1863-1921). Withdrawn from boarding school by his parents at the age of 3, he was dispatched to India to pursue a career in the Army. In 1874, while on a surveying expedition, he became the first European to climb Mount Not Very Tall which, at just 6 feet, turned out to be…

Hortensia Buttercup Hyphen-Hyphen (1892-1974). Following her failure to enlist in the Royal Flying Corps, Hortensia became the founder and only member of the ill-fated “Votes For Chickens” movement. She later moved to Paraguay, where she ran a successful business importing bracken.

Lady Agatha Tulip Hyphen-Hyphen (1828-1899) who, following the timely death of her husband, worked tiresomely for many good causes. Inventor of the 5 nib pen, she was able to write on numerous topics about which she knew absolutely nothing.She failed to be sorely missed.

Lady Arabella Hyphen-Hyphen (1813-1837 and 1841-1874) with her beau, Ludwig Otto Helmut Teutoburg Hyphen-Comma. Despite their great love, their parents barred their marriage on the grounds that they were only 2nd cousins. The identity of the man remains unknown.